Time away from home often leads to reflective moments, especially when life is somewhat unsettled. For nearly two months in April and May, we didn’t think about where we might live in the future, or what that might look like. Not once did we lament over the failed contract to sell our home, or that we’d be returning to a townhouse we no longer needed. We simply enjoyed where we were, making new discoveries, facing challenges together, celebrating successes, and enjoying precious moments. We connected with people along the way, had meaningful conversations, and even exchanged contact information with a few people. We navigated unfamiliar territory daily, and unless we were sleeping, all our senses were fully engaged, and our bodies were tested. Life was exciting, and we could see the appeal of full-time travel.
However, that isn’t a path we see for ourselves as traveling has a downside, too. The downside for us is the things we miss: our daily routine, friends and family, home-cooked meals, and the familiarity of our belongings. I guess you can say we are homebodies with an appetite for travel.
Traveling the world isn’t our path, but it is a welcome detour…
When I chose PATH as my WOTY in January, I quietly hoped for inspiration that would eventually lead us to resolve the question we have asked ourselves since selling our home in 2021: Where to settle down? After a few weeks at home, we returned to the confusion that had previously occupied our thoughts. Still, to our credit, we have ruled out three possibilities in our immediate area that we now see with better vision. Sometimes it is necessary to eliminate a path to see others more clearly.
Distance often brings things into focus…
After a second and in one case a third look at the properties we were considering, we realized that none of them were a good fit for us. So, here we are, back to square one, with an inherited home to sell, living in a rental townhome, and maintaining two storage units. Not an ideal path, to say the least, but we count ourselves fortunate to have choices.
Our checklist hasn’t changed much since we sold our home in 2021, but we are now more willing to compromise. We recognize that our ‘ideal’ lifestyle does not exist. The community we placed our highest hopes in and the one that looked great on paper didn’t impress us when homes started coming out of the ground. Our collective patience is wearing thin, so it’s time to cast a wider net.
Adjusting Expectations
With the housing market beginning to soften, ownership is becoming preferable to renting, so the plan is to purchase something, somewhere, within the next year. The home we buy next probably won’t check all our boxes, and will likely not be our ‘forever home,’ but it might be. What we need at this point is a comfortable, consistent landing zone between trips. We don’t want to renovate, update, or otherwise invest time and money in making a place our own, and prefer new construction, nicely detailed with some upgrades, spacious rooms, and storage. We don’t want a lot of overhead or maintenance, like a mandatory club membership, hefty HOA fees, a pool, or a big yard. We don’t mind starting over in a new town, or even a new state, as long as we are close to an international airport, good medical providers, and an active community.
The path we have followed for the past four years has allowed us to try on different lifestyles and home sizes. While it was an enlightening experiment, the time has come to end our revolving door existence and settle into the next installment of our five-year plan. It is time to choose the path of stability.
Picture Retirement 
Your photos and stories always up the appeal of travel, but we are clearly homebodies. I hope you find a home that is right for you. I.. too, would be looking to avoid high monthly fees. I applaud your thoughtful approach and wish you luck. Thanks for sharing the photos of your travels.
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Thank you. It is a big decision and we want to get it right.
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Hi Suzanne – I think knowing what you don’t want is a great start towards figuring out what you do want. Stepping away has also given you some distance and clarity that you can miss when you’re embroiled and bogged down in the process. I look forward to seeing where you land.
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Leanne, I agree. Unfortunately, we keep adding to the list of things we do not want, making it nearly impossible to settle. The clarity we had after returning from the trip was amazing. Being on the same page – wow.
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Every new place i travel to is a potential forever home, but, like you, so far I don’t have a final decision.
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Dawn, you sound like a dreamer, like me. Everything has potential.
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Good luck as you look for your next home! I hope you are really happy with the one you choose, and that it might even be your forever home! I look forward to reading about your journey!
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Thank you, Betty. We are excited for the next chapter to unfold.
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I take this as you are in a good place right now. You know for sure what you don’t want, are able to take your time to find what you do want, and your WOTY is proving to be a guiding principle like we all hope ours will be.
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Ally, that is a reasonable summary. I am somewhat anxious, but I also know that if the worst scenerio happens, (we don’t sell the house) we still have a home to return to at the end of our lease and while not the ideal solution, it buys some more time.
The pressure comes from wanting to be settled before our lease ends in March of 2026, as once again we have a ‘big adventure’ on the horizon for March and April. I like to think there is a difference between intentionally complicating things, and being hopeful. 🙂
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What an interesting post, and I identified with so much of it. Like you we love to travel but don’t see ourselves doing it full time or even most of the time. There’s too much to enjoy here at home too! Unlike you however, for the time being our current house offers all we need, as it has done for many years, and those needs are also like yours in some ways – near an airport (we have Heathrow on our doorstep!), near medical and other facilities and in our case also near cinemas, restaurants, galleries etc. 🙂 However there’s a risk we may need to move in the next six months or year, so I’ll be very interested to follow your path to a more settled home and to hear about the choices and compromises you make
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Sarah, we intend to travel as much as possible during the next couple of years, as we race ahead of health issues. That reality fuels the urgency to get our ducks in a row now and have a plan that will work long-term. I’m sorry to hear that your current situation may have to change, but unfortunately, we all get to that point. Best wishes for a smooth transition, should it come to that.
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Our issue at present isn’t our own health but problems with a neighbour. But if we move we will plan for our potential future needs too!
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Wow, Suzanne, I feel like you’ve told my future life story! I enjoy travel too, even the tedious road trips, but I LOVE my routine–after all didn’t we earn this? Path is a perfect WOTY for a lot of us over 65. I love your photos of trails and roads and long to see new ones as well in my own life. I envy your no-stress outlook on what’s coming up next and wish you all the best in your decisions.
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Terri, we are not entirely stress-free, as we really want to get this right. When the house sells, that will eliminate the ‘back up plan’ so ‘what next’ will become a bigger issue. Hopefully, decisions will fall into place and not be forced due to circumstance. P.S. I love road trips, even the tedious parts!
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“Sometimes it is necessary to eliminate a path to see others more clearly.” These are very wise words, Suzanne. Now that you have done that – I wish you much success on finding the right path for you both!
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Thanks, Donna, later this week we are traveling further north to visit two properties. Hopefully, one of them will have what we are looking for. Have a great week.
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Suzanne, you are lucky to have a place to live and have time to figure out your next path. I hope you will find what you are looking for. In the meantime, keep on traveling and living your life. I am so grateful Henry and I made all the RV trips and took cruises while we were young enough and mobile enough to enjoy doing it. Good luck!
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Beth, I count my blessings every day. I have a roof over my head and a whole other house just sitting there, waiting for a nice family to love it. With regard to travel, we have learned from those of you who have gone before us to never take our good health for granted. That window is quickly closing. We want the next move to be smart and purposeful. Thanks for your good wishes.
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Suzanne,
I’ve been on that same path before. Things worked our splendidly and we found a place that fits our lifestyle perfectly–i.e. we can leave it to travel for months at a time. I’m confident y’all will something that suits you as well. If you’re looking for another state to call home, you would love Tennessee–low cost of living, four seasons, great quality of life. Nashville has a great International airport, but the town is exploding with newcomers. Best wishes for a productive search. Joe
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Joe, funny that you mentioned Tennessee. We have friends who moved to Brentwood (6 months ago) to ‘try it out for a year’ before buying. Two weeks ago, they bought a house in Chattanooga. Maybe we’ll take a ride up and see what all the fuss is about. Exciting times, but nerve-wracking too. Thanks for stopping by.
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Welcome “home!” Looking forward to reading about where your path leads you next.
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Thanks Tracey, and thanks for answering my email the other day. Hope all is going well.
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The best decisions are those made with care and a clear vision. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to make the right move for you. I am right there with you in the description of being “homebodies with an appetite for travel.” As much as we enjoy having new adventures, we love our neighborhood, home, and routine… and that’s a good thing.
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Hi Janis, it’s great that you have found the right balance of travel and enjoying your home life. When we downsized four years ago, we stayed in the area because of Malcolm’s mom, but now that she is no longer with us, we are free to explore possibilities. The old neighborhood has changed, and many have passed on or moved away. It isn’t the vibrant place we moved into twenty-five years ago, and we no longer feel relevant there. I think a change will do us good. Restoring balance is the ultimate goal. Thanks for visiting. Have a great week.
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Interest, Suzanne – it’s always absorbing to read the thoughts of people who are (a) travellers in whatever format and (b) past retirement and considering next steps. That perfect home does exist somewhere, but it almost definitely won’t match your mental picture of what it’ll look like. One day you will walk through a door and say “aha!”.. For us, our current home is probably not where we’ll stay when we finish travelling . But who knows which PATH will open up…
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Phil, our ‘ideal home’ description changes almost daily, but I think you are right. We will know it when we see it.
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I am glad you were able to step away some from the stress of house selling and house hunting and enjoy traveling. It can be so exhilarating to explore new places, eat new food, have a complete change of scenery. But I am always, always ready to get back home. So I guess I am a homebody, for sure, too, who enjoys a little travel.
Hope that now that the housing market is kinder and families are looking to move before school resumes in the fall, you will have the perfect offer on your MIL’s home and can find the perfect space for yourselves. We are in a 2-story home with room we needed when we bought it in 2008. But now our kitties each have their own bedroom, ha! Actually, guest rooms but the kitties enjoy sleeping in there. We installed a pool in 2017 and it requires some upkeep. And our little yard needs attention. For now we are okay with all of that, but I can see a time when I will be tired of cleaning a 4 bedroom house.
Keep looking. The right fit is out there! And the right buyer is out there, too. Will keep you in my prayers.
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Leslie, your situation sounds much like where we started four years ago when we sold our twenty-three-year-old home. It was too big and too much to maintain, and it seemed we were always coming home to a problem. It was liberating to give away a lot of stuff we no longer needed and move into a much smaller space, but now I am ready to have a home again.
Thanks for visiting. I appreciate your comment and your prayers.
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That’s a lot of pressure to pick the “right” place to buy or live, but I guess a lot of people buying houses go through this process. I’ve never bought a house, so I wouldn’t know. But, I often go through my choices and reduce them by eliminating things that don’t feel (as) right. It’s like editing a book – editing choices. 🙂
I hear you about craving stability. We’ve been sticking to a challenging lifestyle for over two decades now and, as you know, it’s not a vacation, unfortunately, so at times, the cons really outweigh the pros. Maybe it’s time for us as well to come to terms with a few things and find more stability and comfort. .
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Liesbet, I suppose any mistake can be undone, but at our age, we’d like to try to mitigate that likelihood as much as possible by being thorough. You are spot on about eliminating things that ‘don’t feel right.’ Gut instinct is often the best indication.
I applaud you guys for sticking with a challenging lifestyle choice for as long as you have. I feel wimpy about complaining about my ‘lack of stability’, but just like ‘traveler’ has multiple definitions, so does homebody. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
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We have lived from Pittsburgh to Ft Lauderdale with major stops in North Carolina. Charlotte is still very high on our list of places we could call home. But the west coast of Florida offers most of what is on our list. I urge you to consider the Tampa Bay Area.
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John, we haven’t ruled out the possibility of that coast, and will probably make our way there before summer ends. How is the Venice, Venice Beach area? From what we remember, traffic is the biggest problem on the West Coast. Hope you guys are well.
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Thanks so much for the follow, and the opportunity to read this and comment, Suzanne. I’ve seen you around for a number of years but never really had chance to dive in here. I’m married to a complete homebody- it’s really a wonder the marriage has survived all these years, because he gets worse!-and travel is a luxury to me, not in cash terms but in emotional ones. I would love a life on the road, or bobbing along in a narrowboat, but it’s never going to happen. Fortunately for us, the one dream we shared was a ‘place in the sun’ and he fell in love with Tavira. We had years to make friends and a lifestyle here before selling our home of 35 years and moving out here. I’m not sure I’d know where to start if we were looking now so I wish you all the luck in your search. Maintaining links with family and friends abroad requires work, but we no longer have parents so that’s one less worry, bless them! I look forward to hearing how this all pans out xx
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Hi Jo, same here. We certainly have a few parallels, (also married to a homebody, but open to an adventure once in a while). I guess our paths finally intersected and I’m glad they did. I spent some time yesterday catching up on your story. If you read the post before this one, you know we were recently in the Algarve. We have visited Portugal many times, but this was our first trip there. I see the appeal and would love to return for a longer stay.
The imputus for all of this soul searching was downsizing our home in 2021 and the death of his mom (who we were responsible for) last year. It is the first time in our adult lives that we are free from heavy responsibilities. Personally, I’d book a cabin on a cruise ship and sail the world, but Malcolm is much too traditional for that lifestyle. Like all good marriages, we have learned to compromise on the big stuff.
I just started reading your recent story on my phone, but the photos are so beautiful, I am now switching over to my laptop to reread.
Thanks for dropping in and have a wonderful week.Take care.
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Bless you, thanks a lot! I tried commenting on yours on my phone but had to use the laptop to finally get there. Will revisit later. Trying to organise life here at the moment. Tavira Day tomorrow and friends joining us for lunch. Fireworks tonight! xx
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Wishing you blessings at this ‘Fork in the road’. The answers will come clear to you. Grand adventures are a very good thing… Home is often a matter of the heart. You will ‘know’ when it is right. Thank you for sharing your adventures…
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Thank you Linda. I love your positivity. Malcolm and I know that ‘home’ is wherever we are together. All the other stuff is just creature comforts. Have a great week.
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Wishing you a great week also! 🙂
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Suzanne, I love your photo gallery in this post. Four years have gone by fast. I hope you’ll find a place that suits you in Florida which I think is much less work than moving to another state. Best wishes with your house search.
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Natalie, Florida is what we know, so it is very likely that we will remain here. However, it’s fun to explore alternatives.
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I couldn’t agree more, Suzanne, often the “right” path becomes clear by eliminating those we don’t choose. I think it’s wonderful that you have been able to try out some different lifestyles before committing to any one particular home. Wishing you all the best in this huge endeavor!
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Christie, thank you. Most days are as clear as mud right now.
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Sigh… I wrote a long response and the system glitched. So quick recap.
I have a local friend in similar situation – not sure what they want (except not to be in a flood zone!), struggling to be on same page, taking 3 months to get away. They have the issue that their house did sell while they were looking and now, are moving into a rental on their return to the area, which was not part of their plan!
I don’t think I would know where to start myself on the path you’re on! I think it’s one reason we are rebuilding here… we simply had no idea what else to do.
I do believe you will find something that “fits” with only minor compromise. Please believe you will too! (quantum physics … believe it will happen to manifest it)
If you venture to the west coast, I have 2 friends who moved into the Parish area (near Sarasota) – newer community of single family homes with common pool and clubhouse, lots of clubs and activities, the community does all the yard work; but yes there’s HoA fees. They are both really liking it – says very welcoming. The one couple are avid travelers, so they like having the outside taken care of.
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Pat, I will add Parish to the research pile. Thanks for the info. The problem we are running into lately is shoddy construction and lots of low end projects. Seems no one builds a quality neighborhood anymore.
Thanks for dropping by.
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Hi Suzanne, firstly, welcome back home!
Having relocated some years ago, to our current California coastal location, all I can offer is that the location is turning out to be far, far more significant than the physical home itself. The home, as you know, can be fixed or altered, but the location cannot.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourselves to find a perfect home, as really, no such entity exists (something our realtor once told us, and very correctly as it turned out).
Perhaps focus more on your ideal location, and let the house become secondary.
Just my two cents – and worth exactly what you paid for it! 😄
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Hi Tamara, I hear you. Unfortunately, there isn’t a location screaming at us just yet. Something will pop up when we least expect it. Just gotta be patient.
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Howdy. Stability is important, and it’s good to have regular doses of excitement too.
Neil S.
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