Aging gracefully. Is there really such a thing? Possibly, but I can tell you from first-hand experience that we have seen very little to support that notion as we watch a formerly vibrant, intelligent woman slide into the abyss of memory loss. Dementia is cruel, and witnessing it is just sad.
Like raising a child, there is no blueprint for dealing with an elderly parent with dementia. Lucid moments give way to hope, but with every lucid moment comes a dozen heartbreaking ones.
We noticed, what we believe to be, the onset of my MIL’s memory loss about two years ago. She was unusually forgetful but fully functioning in her home, cooking, and housekeeping. There were subtle, but not alarming changes along the way. This past summer, something changed, and by the end of July, we knew we needed to pay close attention and enlist help.
First, we started to notice a lack of appetite, a loss of interest in her home environment and regular activities, confusing objects, one with the other, misplacing things, paying less attention to her appearance, and general paranoia about things being taken from her. We received multiple calls per day inquiring about a piece of mail that needed immediate attention (usually an advertisement), where her purse might be, or if we had taken the keys to her house. She started forgetting our visits, and phone conversations. We’d arrive to take her to lunch and she would not be dressed to go out, having forgotten the date. We were caught off guard by the seemingly rapid progression, or possibly we were in denial and just missed earlier signs that she was declining. Almost overnight life as we know it changed.
As with every big decision, we set out to do research. From gaining an understanding of the disease (to the extent that dementia can be understood) to choosing the ‘right’ approach to care, we took it all in. We visited several ‘Retirement Living’ communities that provide independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. We read reviews and checked inspection reports. We talked to professionals about in-home care and had numerous conversations with friends who had traveled this road before us.
The hardest part was broaching the subject of a new living arrangement with her. She has steadfastly reminded us for years that she will die in her home, on her terms; and that was long before the onset of dementia. If you have ever seen the movie Fifty First Dates, you understand what we were up against. Memories from the day before, and sometimes even the hour before are wiped clean, and any forward progress is lost. We realized the insurmountable mountain we were climbing by trying to include her in the process and moved forward on our own. After nearly six weeks of weighing options, and dealing with emotions, including sadness, guilt, blame (yes, we blamed God), and denial, we concluded that an assisted living community would be the best solution at this time.
Things escalated after an emergency stay in the hospital, where a multitude of exams and tests revealed underlying health conditions deeming her incapable of returning to her own home without twenty-four-hour assistance. Orchestrating the move from the hospital to assisted living was heart-wrenching.
Take a step back – breathe….
Life seemed to spiral out of control from the first day in her new residence and we found ourselves in a situation that forced us to consider an option we never thought possible – memory care. After weighing available alternatives once again, we decided to move my MIL from assisted living to memory care, within the same community. If you have visited a memory care unit, you know that it is very different from the light, carefree atmosphere of assisted living. Residents in memory care are at all levels of decline, from early-stage to late-stage dementia. They are assisted with all aspects of daily living, from getting dressed to participating in activities. It is a secure, controlled environment, and not a place that any of us would wish to be or even think might be a possibility for our future. We certainly never envisioned this path for her.
While we do not consider this to be a permanent move, (time will tell) it does buy us some time to regroup, recover from the onslaught of competing emotions, process new health information, and thoroughly understand the wall we are up against. The most important thing we have learned from this experience is that this disease affects everyone differently, it progresses differently, and families respond differently. In the span of three months, our role went from supporting her existence (I won’t use the word caregiver out of respect for those of you who truly are) to relinquishing control to trained professionals in a secure environment.
After a week of adjustment time, (requested, but not mandated by the facility) we had our first visit with my MIL and while very sad for us, it was also encouraging. We believe that compassionate care supported by family visits is what she needs right now.
As for us, we are taking things one day at a time, trying to resume life as we live it, all the while acknowledging and trying to accept that this is a fluid situation. We are doing our best to maintain a positive attitude while prioritizing her care and looking after ourselves.
Friends and family have provided invaluable emotional support and we couldn’t be more grateful for their encouraging words and deeds. My tennis buddies’ constant reminders to hit something (hitting that yellow ball works wonders) have been a godsend and the Mahjongg gals have allowed me to vent beyond the limits of casual distraction.
This weekend we are in Miami for a brief stay-cation. A quiet respite is just what the doctor daughter ordered. When she presented the option to us along with a stern but loving lecture she added, ‘Dad, I know you have always looked after your parents, but now I have to look after mine’ – music to my ears.
Additional Reading and Tips
Lifestyle Steps that may slow the progression of dementia – Source
- Eating a nutritious diet: The foods you eat can affect the health of your brain. Plus, following a balanced diet lowers your risk of complications from other conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease.
- Following an exercise routine: Just like following a balanced diet, staying active is good for your brain. Exercise increases the blood and oxygen in your brain, and that can help maintain brain connections.
- Getting plenty of sleep: Getting adequate sleep is important to your health in many ways. One of the ways is allowing your brain to rest and reset, which lowers your dementia risk.
- Maintaining social connections: Socialization and community can help slow down memory decline.
- Keeping your brain busy: Mentally stimulating activities, such as playing instruments, reading, learning new skills, or playing games, are good for your brain health.
Although there is no cure for dementia, I find these tips practical and helpful at any stage of life. In fact, when I add ‘let go of guilt’ to the top of the list it sounds much like a recipe for a self-care routine that we could all embrace.
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If you are new to Picture Retirement, I generally post on Sunday, at least two or three times per month. Topics include retirement, photography, travel, and life in general. I typically link my last post of the month (closest Sunday) to What’s Been on Your Calendar, Natalie’s Weekly Coffee Share, and Sunday Stills (when the subject fits). These ladies make it possible to showcase our posts to a new audience, meet new bloggers, and promote their individual blogs. What they do takes a lot of time and effort, so please support them with a visit to their sites. Thank you Jo, Donna, Sue, Deb, Natalie and Terri.
Your comments are always welcome here. Conversations lead to connections, and that is what it’s all about!
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Picture Retirement 
Oh Suzanne, I’m so sorry that you all have to go through this. My dad ended up in the dementia care area of an aged care facility after he declined and mum couldn’t keep up the care he needed. Fortunately she made the decision and had the funds to make sure he was cared for locally. Watching his decline over the last couple of years of his life was hard for the family, but he didn’t seem unduly bothered by it all – his memories disappeared and he was quite content in his day to day life.
Dementia is a horrible situation to deal with, but I think most of us will face it with a loved one at some stage. Take the time you need for yourselves because it’s a highly demanding time for the closest members of the family – your words brought back a lot of memories about my dad and his last months. Take care of yourselves xx
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Leanne, I think we would be happy with her being ‘content’ right now. She is angry, completely unaware of her health issues, and insisting that we take her home. We are coming to terms with our decision and her lack of acceptance. We find it helpful to remind ourselves that it just isn’t her anymore. Thanks for stopping by.
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Suzanne, the aging process is not a walk in the park. Particularly when there is such a heartbreaking diagnosis such as Dementia. Like yourselves we have had friends who have been through these same issues and questions with their elderly parents. My MIL is 93, but she is still able to live independently, with support from the family. She has poor mobility, but her mind is sharper than mine. We feel grateful for that, although we don’t know how long she will be able to stay living independently.
You and Malcolm have acted with compassion, understanding and love. She will get the high level of care that she needs now, but will also continue to get your loving support.
There are no easy solutions.
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Hi Gilda, you are so lucky that your 93-year-old MIL is still sharp and independent. What a blessing. We always thought that would be the case for Nana too. We still can’t get over how quickly things seemed to happen. The past three months have been brutal. Thank you for your compassionate words of support.
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Normal aging is a cruel enough joke on us after living a busy, productive, energetic life, but a dimentia diagnosis just brings life as we know to a halt. Years back the word, cancer, gave us all a fright and we could hardly comprehend dealing with it. Today, we know there are skilled oncologists and in many cases effective treatments to address the diagnosis. The words, dimentia or alzheimers, have now taken over that number one spot on the ‘please no’ list. I doubt that there are many who have not seen or known loved ones suddenly afflicted with the diagnosis. To add insult to injury is the cost associated with that type of care which many cannot afford bringing on a whole other set of issues. Enjoy your time away because you are both carrying a large emotional and physical load as you do the right thing and look out for her best interests. I will keep your Mother-in-law in my prayers and hope she finds comfort in her new residence and you and Malcolm find a new peaceful normal. Thank you for sharing because we all need a reminder what it looks like and to be aware of changes in ourselves and loved ones.
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Judy, finding our ‘peaceful new normal’ while advocating on her behalf as we manage an array of caregivers is the challenge right now. I believe life will settle down once a routine that she will allow is established. Thank you for your continued prayers.
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I recognise so much of this, from the early hints to the rapidly developing symptoms to the difficult decisions about care. I’m not surprised you had to move forwards without consulting your MIL about her living arrangements. We tried the same with my mother but she could never remember what she’d agreed to. When we placed her in the dementia unit of the same care home where my father had already been living for a year, just as she’d said she wanted, she demanded to ‘go home’. But she did settle in and we remain convinced to this day that it was the least-worst option for her final years. I hope you’ll be able to make the same peace with the decisions you’ve made, tough as they were. There’s sometimes a stigma about ‘putting a parent into care’, but there are some conditions I believe only trained professionals can properly support and dementia is one of them. Enjoy your time in Miami and as many other breaks as you’re able to give yourselves 🤗
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Sarah, ‘least worst option’ is the best way to describe what we had to consider. I agree, that there is a stigma to ‘putting a parent into care’, but those who judge probably haven’t been faced with that decision. Providing 24-hour care in her home is cost-prohibitive, and an administrative nightmare, so we ruled that out first. We thought she could enter assisted living, gradually assimilate into the environment, and at some point (we were thinking months, not days) in the future transfer to memory care. Unfortunately, that is not how things transpired and three days after moving into assisted living she was moved to memory care.
It is encouraging that your MIL settled in after being resistant. We pray that will be the case for Nana.
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It was my mother that had dementia, not my MIL, but yes, she settled to a large extent. It’s tough though, I won’t pretend it isn’t.
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Sarah, sorry about that. It has already been tough, and we are just at the beginning of the most severe part. I can only imagine what you went through with your mom. It is an awful disease.
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Suzanne, I can relate to much of what you are going through. It’s important for you and Malcolm to take care of yourselves. My father was diagnosed with early Alzheimers and lived by himself 200 miles from us. He
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continued to get more and more confused each time I saw him. When he wrecked his car – luckily no one else was hurt – we moved him to an assisted living facility near us. Eventually he had to go to a memory care home. Yes, I felt a lot of guilt (and still do at times) but I know we made the right decision. Hang in there. It sounds like she is in good hands. One of the nurses at my Dad’s memory care home told me that Angels look after patients with dementia and Alzheimers.
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Beth, everyone told us it would take a ‘something’ for us to realize it was time to make a decision. Just like your father’s car accident, our ‘something’ was an emergency trip to the hospital. I like the thought that Angels are looking after her. Malcolm’s dad passed away in 1993 and we often credit him with little miracles. Hopefully, he will have a good talk with her soon!
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Hi Sue, I am sorry to read about the challenges your family is facing. As you describe well “heart-wrenching.” And your phrase “compassionate care,” lends a positive spin to all of the complicated issues. Your steps for prevention and slowing down progression for disease are universal and great reminders, Sue. Hugs during this challenging time xoxo Erica
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Hi Suzanne, A mental blip….almost funny considering the challenging topic…I woke up this morning realizing I called you ‘Sue’ versus “Suzanne” after all of these years….hee, hee….my brain is full with tons of kids/family/visitors staying with us….that is my story and I am sticking with it 😊 Hugs to you, Suzanne!!!!! XOXO
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Erica, your hugs and kind thoughts are always appreciated no matter the name you use. Morgan’s high school friends called me Sue Sue and my brother still calls me Suzie. It’s all good. Your mind works a little too much like mine – things get sorted while I am sleeping and I occasionally wake up with either an awesome idea or an oh crap moment. Hugs back to you dear lady.
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I am so sorry to read that you and your family are going through this, Suzanne.
Both my parents died relatively young, so dementia in an aging parent has not been my experience. And I hope for my childrens’ sake (mostly), it doesn’t happen to me either. I wish you strength. You have one smart daughter!
Deb
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Deb, like I said in the other post, Word Press sent your comment to jail along with Sue’s. Not sure why you guys are being picked on, but anyway, today I found your sweet comment just sitting there.
I’m sorry you lost your parents at a young age, and as harsh as it may sound, I think I’d give up a few years if it meant I could avoid dementia. ‘Strength’ is exactly what it will take to get through this. Every visit feels like we are walking in to be gutted. by her. There are some bright moments, and that is when we are reminded that she is still in there, her other self, sweet and kind. Thanks so much for the comment.
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I’m so sorry. I have a friend going thru this with her dad now. It’s heartbreaking. Both my parents died young, and sometimes I’m glad of that. Sending you peaceful vibes. Know that though she is angry, you are making the right decisions for her. Hugs.
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Dawn, thank you for your kind comment. Aging can be cruel to the body and mind, and it can be kind. You never know which one you’ll get. She is much less angry these days, so we count that as progress.
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My friend’s dad has made some friends, and thinks (some of the time) that he’s back home. So things are better on that front too.
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Sorry to read about this tough road, Suzanne. Most of us have had family members with dementia – or some form of it – at this point in life and, unfortunately, it seems to only go downhill after the diagnosis, realization, and acceptance. I’m very glad that you found a spot at a memory care facility (I had never heard of this and wonder if they exist in Belgium) for your MIL. Has she accepted the move, as far as you can tell?
Taking it one day at a time is the best approach and working on that guilt and self-care is important as well. 🙂 I’m super happy that your daughter is helping with that!
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Hi Liesbet, unfortunately, my MIL is not receptive and is in denial that anything is wrong with her. Rational conversation is not a possibility at this point. It is so very sad, but at least she is safe, and receiving good care. We are hopeful that at some point she will stop resisting and accept that there is no going back.
Morgan has been a true blessing and our reality check through all of this. I guess we’ve done something right in life. Thanks for stopping by.
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Hi, Suzanne – I add my heartfelt thoughts and prayers to all of those included above. For a few years now, my mom has struggled with memory loss. The strong, determined will of my step-father adds another layer of complication. I deeply recognize what often feels like a lose-lose situation.
Yesterday, I began reading ‘Remember’ by Lisa Genova (neuroscientist and author of ‘Still Alice,’ amongst other books). I’m currently only half way through but it’s been great at dispelling memory myths and for providing good reminders of things that we can all do now to help keep our brains healthy (you are spot on with the ones that you have mentioned in this post).
Sending love across the miles to you, Malcom and your MIL.
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Hi Donna, I am convinced that some of us are marked from birth to receive this dreaded disease. But, I also believe we can help ourselves live better. I will put in a library request for ‘Remember’ and add it to my list of reading materials. I read ‘Still Alice’ years ago, but never realized that the story would come to life for our family. At 94, we truly believed that she’d stay ‘a little forgetful’ to the end of her days. We just didn’t see it coming.
Thanks for the ‘love’ and back to you. I hope Richard’s surgery was successful, his healing will be complete and you guys will be planning your next Camino very soon.
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Hi, Suzanne – I finished reading “Remember” yesterday and found it to be very empowering. It was filled with excellent reminders that I knew but had let slip. It was helpful to me in terms of general information, in helping me to better support my mom who is experiencing significant short term memory loss, and for my concerns if this trait has been passed on to me. My mom and I have experienced very different lifestyles so Lisa’s strategies and prevention tips were very encouraging.
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Donna, I just downloaded the book. My concerns are obviously for Malcolm, even though I don’t know for sure that there is a genetic link to the disease. Some say yes, some say not really. We have had a lot of interesting conversations lately about ‘what would we do’ if it was one of us and we were fully aware – choices we’d mak for ourselves, etc. morbid stuff actually, but enlightening. Thanks for the book recommendation.
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Hi, Suzanne – According to the Alzheimer’s Society “the majority of dementia is not inherited by children and grandchildren. In rarer types of dementia there may be a strong genetic link, but these are only a tiny proportion of overall cases of dementia.” Still, I agree that these discussions are important to have.
The good news is that Genova’s book is filled with tips of how to keep our brain’s and memories healthy — most are common sense (but are things that are often far too easy to neglect…at least for me).
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Suzanne,
I am in a situation with my Mom (95) similar to what you and Malcolm are experiencing. Things were very tough at first, but eventually, a routine began to take shape, and things became manageable (sort of) eventually. I visit several times weekly to fill the bird feeders outside her window and chat. Those times work as therapy for both of us. All the best to the three of you. Joe
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Joe, ‘sort of manageable’ would work for us as most days still look a bit chaotic. We are hopeful that we will all find a nice rhythm and learn to cope with the hand that’s been dealt. What else is there to do?
When the weather gets a bit cooler, I plan to show her the garden where she can tend plants. Fingers crossed that she will remember how she loved to do that. We played cards the other day and she won a few games. We know she’s still in there. Thanks for your visit and your good wishes.
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Suzanne this is just such a stressful time for you and your family. I’m sure you feel despair at your MIL’s decline and helpless as to what to do. You have made the right, albeit difficult decision to find the right care for your MIL. I’m so pleased you could get some time away as well to recharge. I’m sending my love to you during this time. Take care and thank you for sharing your experience as well as information for others going through the same situation. xx
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Hi Sue, again, my apologies for the late reply. Why WP would consider you and Deb a threat is beyond silly. Especially after all this time.
‘Despair’, and ‘helpless’ is exactly what we feel, even though we know we are making the best decisions possible to keep her safe.
Thank you for your kindness. I know there are so many people in a similar situation, we just never thought it would be us.
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Never apologize Suzanne, life is hectic and more so for you at the moment with your MIL. I’m sending my love to you and it’s a matter of taking it day by day.
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You raised a smart daughter. Glad you are taking some time for yourselves. Watching loved ones slip into the grip of dimension is tough. It’s easy to go into denial about it, especially when they maintain their sense of humor or sense of family connection. For my brother and I, her repeated requests for her red suitcase tipped us off that memory care was in her best interest. How I’d love to ask her why that old suitcase was so important now. Continue to take care of yourselves. Tracey
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Hi Tracey, it is amazing how there is a fixation with certain items. With my MIL, it is her purse. There is nothing in it but her ID, but she insists she carries it at all times and even when she is in her studio, it must be in plain sight.
Morgan and her grandmother have always been close, so having her perspective and objectivity has been invaluable. Yep, she is a good kid.
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Hi Suzanne, I’m sorry to read about the challenges your family is going through. I can relate to the emotionally difficult process to place your MIL in memory care in addition to all the research to find a suitable place. Please continue taking care of yourselves. Your list of tips is an excellent reminder. Thank you for your Weekend Coffee Share. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Natalie, we are adjusting to our new roles, and learning a lot, but taking care of ourselves is still a priority. You are the poster child for balanced living and self-care, and could have written those tips. Thank you for your best wishes.
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Like others, much of this sad tale is very familiar to us both. Unfortunately many of us have gone through the pain of watching our parents and elders disappear as a different character inhabits their body. There is no rule book about how we as family should respond, there is no right way or wrong way (well, no guaranteed right way), and there’s no solution which doesn’t leave you questioning whether you got it right. Good luck Suzanne, and enjoy your time out.
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Hi guys, ‘a different character inhabiting her body’ is exactly what we are experiencing. It has been hard to figure out how to relate to this ‘new person’, but we are hopeful that we will soon discover a relationship that works. We are convinced that there truly is no ‘right way’ and that coming from love and compassion is the best we can do.
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I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this! It is so tough when a parent, or parent-in-law, gets dementia, and dealing with it is a constant struggle. As your other readers have suggested, please try to make some time for yourself during this whole thing as often as possible.
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Ann, thanks for the reminder. Self-care is still a priority for us. Putting on your own oxygen mask first makes perfect sense. I appreciate the visit and comment. Blessings.
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My FIL ended up in dementia care in a hospice, so it was all awful everywhere you looked. It’s a difficult decision to make, yet the right one. Maybe harder on you than the loved one who you’ve had committed? I’m glad you got to take a restorative little vacation. Perspective away from the situation is helpful.
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Ally, getting away from the situation was helpful, even though we still feel like we are ‘on call’ 24/7. I’m sure that will ease up as routines are established and she makes the adjustment. At least, that is my hope. It seems like everyone I know has had personal experience with this disease. ‘Awful everywhere you look’ is exactly what this disease looks like from any perspective.
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Suzanne, as you know, I understand all too well what you and Malcolm are going through. I had to place both of my parents in assisted living within a couple of months of each other in 2020. After a couple of years of dealing with their declining mental and physical abilities, it was a blessing to finally get them into a place where they were safe and had round-the-clock skilled care. Would they have gone on their own? NO. But that’s because they were not capable of thinking rationally. We lived in constant fear and patched things together for a couple of years until it was clear that something REALLY bad was going to happen unless we took decisive action.
You are doing the right thing for your mother-in-law. And I’m glad you’re taking care of yourselves and that your daughter is so supportive. Sending hugs and wishing you strength for the journey. (P.S. I wrote several blogs about the challenges of aging parents. I don’t think we were reading each others’ blogs at the time, but you might like this: https://ravenandchickadee.com/2019/10/reality-rv-hard-times-and-trying-to-stay-sane/)
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Laurel, when I look back, I realize that ‘patching things together’ was exactly what we were doing. We enabled her to live alone in her house for about a year longer than she should have. We are seeing clear evidence of that now, as we declutter her home and discover neglect. I think we wanted to believe that she could make it to the end on her terms.
Thanks for the reference to your blog posts. I will take a look at them. It is comforting to know that so many others have been in our shoes and have advice to share. Thanks for caring. I appreciate you.
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Laurel, I just read the post you referenced and it parallels our situation in so many ways. My heart goes out to you all over again – you were dealing with two parents. We just have one crusty old Armenian with a will of her own and a mouth to match. I especially related to the story about the Dr. who prescribed medicine and wanted to send your Dad home. Nana puts up a good front with people who don’t know her, but she can’t tell the difference between the phone and the remote control. It is so very sad.
Your advice to everyone who will listen to get your sh*t together now, before it is too late is spot on. I personally think it is selfish to do anything short of decluttering, downsizing, and putting as much as possible in writing. From my very jaded point of view, it is the least we can do for our children. Thanks again for sharing your candid thoughts and actual experiences.
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Oh, Suzanne, how I wish we could take a long walk together!!! And also sit around with a glass (or two) of wine and share our experiences of dealing with aging parents. It’s sad, painful, and exhausting. And there is absolutely nothing that can prepare us for the experience. It does help to know that others have been in the same boat, but still, we just can’t fathom how difficult it is until we have to live it.
I had to laugh at your comment about your “crusty old Armenian with a will of her own and a mouth to match.” My mom wasn’t Armenian, but she would have been best friends with your mother-in-law! I would LOVE to tell you about some of the unbelievable things my previously proper mom said and did, LOL!!! And I also had to laugh (although it is also sad, I know) about your mother-in-law not knowing the difference between the phone and the remote control. My dad confused his pill box with the phone. Believe me, I’m incorporating ALL of the lifestyle suggestions you made into my life. Take good care!
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Oh that’s heartbreaking and virtual hugs to you. Kudos though to your daughter for ordering you to have some time out. As they say, fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others.
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Jo, thanks for the hugs and comforting words. It is a heartbreaking time for us, but supportive friends and family keep us encouraged.
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We all seem to have stories about loving someone with dementia, and the toll it takes not only on the person suffering from memory loss but also their family. We had 24-hour care at home for my father until he broke his hip and we had to put him in a care facility. We felt very guilty, but we knew it was for the best. I know you are making the right choice for your mother-in-law too.
My heart breaks for you.
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Janis, you were fortunate to keep your dad home for the time that you did. Falls seem to be the #1 reason people elect a facility. Who thought that so many of us would be in a situation to have to keep our parents safe? The role reversal is a bit ironic. Thank you for your kind words.
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This is such a hard time for you Suzanne and I know you are feeling a range of emotions, it’s such an awful disease for everyone involved. You are in my thoughts as you traverse this difficult time. I teared up when I read what your daughter said, but she’s right. I hope you enjoyed your little break away. Take care x
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Hi Debbie, thank you for your kind, supportive words. We have been processing a lot and are still trying to find a place of resolve and acceptance. I’m sure we will get there. Sometimes our daughter surprises us in a good way, and that was one of those moments.
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Suzanne, Thank you for sharing the reality of the situation. I know every one is different, but it’s helpful to us to hear how different people approach this very real situation. I was just beginning the learning curve on how to deal with a parent with dementia. Moving my mom closer to me made her decline so much more obvious. My heart goes out to you and I’m glad you have a local support group.
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Hi Pat, I remember when you were relocating your mom and the grief you shared when she passed. I hope the passing of time has helped you to begin to heal. Dementia is a beast and it is so sad that the remaining time we have is with a person we hardly know. I think our ‘reality’ is not so different from what a lot of folks go through with aging parents. The support IRL and here, on the blog, has been wonderful to receive. Thanks for stopping by.
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Oh Suzanne, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I had similar experiences with my mother and my MIL. It is so hard. Thank you for sharing your experience and the resources. I’m sure they will be helpful to others dealing with dementia. Sending love and healing your way.
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Hi Christie, thank you for your encouraging words. It is a tough time for us. P.S. I just tried to reply to your comment and your site gave me an error message. Will try again later. Just wanted you to know that something is going on.
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Thanks for letting me know that you were unable to reply to my comment. I have updated my security plugin. Would you mind terribly trying again, even if it’s just a one-word comment? Thanks for your help. I hope you are having a good day.
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Hi Suzanne, it is always a difficult time to see loved ones affected by Dementia and extremely difficult to face and make the necessary decisions. I’m sending my love to you all and at this time you also need to focus on yourself and being kind to yourself. Take care and thanks so much for sharing such a personal story with us at WBOYC. xx
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Suzanne, It is heartbreaking to hear of what your whole family is going through. It seems we have all experienced to some extent what you are having to deal with and it is not easy. Even when we know we are doing the right thing for our loved one, it is impossible not to feel guilty when they don’t understand that we are trying to help make each day of their life better. A place where compassionate care can be available 24 hours a day is what your MIL needs. The burden on family is hard so remember to take time for yourselves.
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Hi Karen, your comment is heartwarming and contains some very good advice. It sounds like you might have been there?? Thank you for the vote of confidence that we are doing the right thing. And, yes, our recent trip to Miami confirmed that making time for ourselves is very important. Thanks for stopping by.
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