This is a bit of a departure from my typical interactive journal posts, but we have learned a lot during the past couple of years about downsizing and I wanted to pass on some suggestions that you might find useful. I’ll be back (with photos) at the end of the month to update everyone on the latest move and what’s been happening lately. I’ll just say for now that it is mostly good.
Whether you are just reaching retirement age, or well into your retirement years you might be facing the question of downsizing. If you are like us, you’ve likely lived in the same house for twenty or thirty years and have accumulated a lot of stuff. If the question of ‘where do we begin’ looms heavy on your mind, or even if it doesn’t, please keep reading.
We started purging long before the sale of our home and when the day came to hand over the keys, we were ready. Even if you don’t have immediate plans to sell your home and downsize, it is a good idea to start purging and thinning now. Trust me, there will be a very large dumpster involved if you are planning to age in place and leave it to the kids to take care of.
We found it helpful to start with small projects rather than everything at once. Like for instance, a closet. Starting with the ‘low hanging fruit’ will not only give you a sense of satisfaction but will also help you to establish a process that you can apply to every room in your home.
Keep – Throw Away – Donate
This part of the process isn’t easy and you will have to make some difficult decisions. Pick up every item in your closet and choose a box for it. Say goodbye if you need to, but don’t waste a lot of emotional energy parting with things. Besides, there is no rule that says your ‘keep’ pile can’t include a few well-chosen keepsake items. When you have removed everything, and I mean everything, return the items in the box marked ‘keep’ to your closet in an orderly fashion. Immediately follow through with the other two boxes. Keeping them around is tempting, but, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ does work. I once drove around for weeks with three bags of stuff in the trunk of my car before pulling into the donation center.
Select a new project each week for as long as it takes to go through your entire home. We all have an abundance of stuff hiding under the bathroom sink, in the junk drawer, the garage, the attic, and even on our bookshelves that someone else will find useful. Bundle those things up and donate, donate, donate.
Making The Big Move – Things to Consider
Malcolm and I had hard conversations well in advance about selling our home and downsizing. It was important that we were both on the same page before listing our home with a realtor. His vision of downsizing and mine needed to be similar, or neither of us would be happy. The first question we asked ourselves was why? Why do we want to downsize? The answer was easy for both of us – we are getting older, the house is too big, and we are tired of costly home repairs and maintenance. You may have very different reasons for downsizing, but WHY is always a good place to start the conversation. The answer may lead you to the first hurdle – agreement.
Agreement
If your situation is completely open, and you are in a position to consider anything, invest the time to weigh your options openly and honestly. Maybe you like sunshine and beaches, and he likes downhill skiing and ice fishing. You may have dreams of an ex-pat life in Costa Rica or becoming a Global Nomad and he may want a golf course community in the Villages. Being united and committed to the plan is essential to successfully downsizing.
Size
Spend some time figuring out how big is too big and how small is too small. Do you have hobbies that need to be accommodated, or is it time to let go of the craft closet? Will you have frequent visitors in your new location? Do you still like to entertain? Are all those dishes, glasses, and even the dining table still necessary?
The general rule of thumb to consider when downsizing is to not decrease your square footage by more than 50%. We downsized from 5,000 sf to our current 2,000 sf and still have a few items in a small storage unit that we are not ready to part with. Downsizing doesn’t mean ‘scorched earth’ purging and only you can decide what is right for you.
Location
Choosing a place to downsize to involves a lot of factors; proximity to family, cost of living, availability of medical services, proximity to airports, social opportunities, various housing options, and weather, to name a few. Our advice is to take an extended vacation in the locations you are considering before purchasing a home there. Look beyond the hype and experience it for yourself. Just because a place makes the ‘top 10 places to retire’ list doesn’t mean it is right for you.
Cost
Retirees are generally in ‘asset protection mode’ and downsizing was once considered a good way to generate cash. That is no longer the case in most areas of the country. Depending on the market you sell your home in, you may not realize the gain you had hoped for by purchasing a smaller dwelling in another location. It is important to agree on what portion of the proceeds from your home sale you will spend on the next home as well as acknowledge the reality of what that will afford.
You could also elect an alternate plan by moving into a rental home in your desired area and letting the dust settle. Doing that will accomplish two things 1) you won’t overspend in a high market on the smaller property and 2) you can get to know the area before making a financial commitment. You also may find that you like being a renter and owning a home is no longer a desire.
Community
‘Community’ can be defined in a variety of ways. Take the time to talk about what it means to each of you. When you picture downsizing, what does that lifestyle look like? Do you want to be busy every day with things to do and places to go, or are you comfortable at home tending a garden and creating your own ‘community’ of like-minded folks? Can you picture yourself joining clubs, doing volunteer work, learning new skills, and participating in physical activity? Are you an introvert or extrovert and are you willing to experience things outside your comfort zone? Will your hobbies and interests transfer to your new community or will you be reinventing yourself?
The Bottom Line
Malcolm and I know that our approach to downsizing might seem a bit excessive to some of you, or possibly even extreme. But, in the grand scheme of things, we have been modest in our efforts to find a satisfying retirement lifestyle. Our ultimate goal is to live a traditional, low-maintenance lifestyle that will provide the space and comfort we desire while enabling us to travel periodically without the expense and worry of constant upkeep. We truly believe that the steps we are taking now will ultimately lead us to that goal. However, our attempts at purging and downsizing don’t hold a candle to the folks I’d like to introduce you to below. I hope you will take a minute to read their stories, and if you have a downsizing story, please share it in the comments.
Raven and Chickadee Longtime RVers, the two settled down in Florida at her family estate during Covid and stayed for a few years. They recently sold their lovely traditional home overlooking a bay and are now building a 650 sf Tiny Home in North Carolina. These two nature lovers have a zest for life that translates through her words and his photos. Meet Laurel and Eric. They will make you feel right at home.
Retirement Travelers – Vlog Bev and John sold everything and are in year three of their ten-year plan to travel the world. Do yourself a favor and start at the beginning of their story. After that, pick and choose from their vast catalog of vlogs on retirement topics and destinations that both entertain and educate. They have an ease with each other that is engaging, their positivity is infectious, and they never gloss over their misadventures. What you see is what you get and I’m sure you will love them as much as I do.
Picture Retirement 
Hi Suzanne – this is a very timely post for a lot of us as we begin the process of thinking about downsizing and what it will entail. We’ve had several discussions and I know my husband is nowhere near ready to move to something half the size of where we are….I think he believes he will be “forty forever” – until that myth can no longer be maintained, we’ll be staying put. I really like the idea of lifestyle villages etc, but the reality (as you discovered) is that the residents are far older than we are – so I’m happy to sit it out and wait for a final move, rather than doing it in stages. I’m enjoying watching you figure it all out and sharing tips along the way. Now I’m off to check out your two recommended blogger/vloggers.
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Hi Leanne, I think Malcolm would have preferred to stay in the big house a bit longer, but now that we’ve done it he knows it was the right thing. The worst thing you can do is try to force a change. But, having the conversation periodically does help shift one’s thinking. Thanks for checking out my blog/vlog suggestions. I find both of these couples fascinating.
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What a practical and helpful post! Downsizing isn’t on our agenda at present (although you’d probably consider our Victorian London suburban home as small by US standards) but I can see how valuable your advice will be when/if we do 🙂
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Hi Sarah, I am a bit of a planner, and I always project toward preparing for the worst-case scenario. Even then, the universe has a way of upending things. But, if your situation is working and you can see it working into the future, there should be no need to change a thing.
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We know it won’t suit us forever (too many stairs!) but while it does we’re happy to stay put 🙂
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Ahhh, the dreaded stairs…
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Great post, Suzanne. We aren’t planning on going anywhere, but the purging is a lesson we could benefit from.
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Hi Dan, given the personality that I imagine you have, I can’t see that you would live with a lot of clutter and probably have everything you own very well organized. As I said to Sarah, as long as you can project a comfortable lifestyle well into the future, why change a thing?
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Suzanne,
I am very impressed with your thought and effort in the downsizing process. Now, you can move with the comfort that comes from good planning. I can’t say that we went into it like you and Malcolm–we just got tired of the expense and maintenance of a large home with lots of land. Fortunately, we moved into a place that suited us. There’s some good information here, and you’ve reminded me to make a trip to the donation center. Have a great week! Joe
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Joe, this last move actually wore us out a little. We were very organized, but we took on more than we needed to do and should have left the boxes to the movers. It seemed like a good idea at the time to take those over the day before and organize the kitchen, closets, and bathrooms, but it proved to be too much. Oh well. You have centered on the most important takeaway of this post – declutter and donate, often.
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Where’s the ‘love’ button? I want to read both blogs…but I have to run…I will be back. We have lived here 30 years..we have wayyyyy too much stuff. Husband wants to stay here, I want to move somewhere with less yard and gardens to maintain. We have a long way to go before we agree on what our future holds!
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Hi Dawn, just keep reminding your husband that the two of you are not getting younger. Malcolm was reluctant, but he will be the first to admit that he doesn’t miss the burden, or expense of home maintenance. I can’t state often enough how freeing it is to get rid of unnecessary stuff!
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Thanks for this comprehensive post. Even though we have been through this process once (so far) we continue to learn lessons about retirement living and what we really need in the long run. I’m going to keep this handy. Also thanks for the links. The idea of living in a tiny house or RV should provide some interesting perspective.
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Tracey, every stage of life brings challenges, and I think the most important thing we can do is to pay attention, learn, and apply what we’ve learned. I admire the two couples whose blogs/vlogs I shared, but I couldn’t see myself living their lifestyles. I thoroughly enjoy reading about their experiences though.
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Suzanne, I really like your suggestions for purging. I’m working on it slowly but surely. I also like your suggestion to spend some time in a place before you decide to move there. We live in an area with a lot of retirees moving from other places. Some of them came on vacation and found out in a hurry it’s different to live here.
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Beth, I have heard stories of people who visit a place for a short time and purchase on the spot, but that would not be me. I think the key to purging is to do it regularly. That way, it isn’t such a daunting task. Slowly but surely works.
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You should write a book! Yes -regarding purging a bit at a time is definitely the best.
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Jan, I’m pretty sure a few people have already done that, but thanks for the encouragement. Before the summer is over, I have to go through my closet – again. I moved a lot of stuff into the new place that I no longer need. Purging seems like a never-ending process.
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Suzanne, I don’t think you are drastic at all in your approach to downsizing! Honestly, the more we downsize, the more I want to lighten up.
We’ve been at this for a decade now…first with our decision to full-time RV and rent our home in Oregon; then dealing with my parents’ estate in Florida in 2020; and then deciding to sell both our Oregon home and my family home in Florida. And now, figuring out the logistics of living in a tiny home in North Carolina and traveling via Airbnb. It has been a very long journey of downsizing and simplifying!
Your suggestions for downsizing are all excellent. I particularly like the guidelines you offered for making a big life change. Like you and Malcolm, our goal is to have a comfortable, beautiful home that doesn’t weigh us down with day-to-day upkeep, and to have the freedom to travel and pursue other interests.
Even if someone has no desire to travel or to move to a different living situation, it’s a great gift to those we will someday leave behind to do the hard work of decluttering and dealing with the possessions we’ve accumulated over our lifetimes.
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Laurel, you’ve shared a lot of wisdom in your comment and I admire your ‘intentional living’ approach to downsizing. Being thoughtful and realistic about your needs and desires, while keeping in mind that there is life beyond the dwelling makes sense.
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We aren’t downsizing yet (haven’t found a home to move to), but this advice is still very useful! I’ll remember it, because our time will come.
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Hi Ann, we are still house hunting too, and this will just be an interim step, but we do feel closer to what we want in terms of size and community. It is never too early to think about the future.
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Hi, Suzanne – Thank you for such a detailed, thoughtful and thought-provoking post. I greatly admire your efforts and your reflections of what ended up being too much and what you might have done differently. You are definitely an expert in this area. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I will definitely be referring back to it.
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Hi Donna, we are far from being experts, but we have learned a lot about what we should expect from ourselves and what we should leave to the professionals. Thanks for stopping by.
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Hi Suzanne, Your words ‘looms’ and ‘a lot of stuff’ resonates with me. Your phrase ‘low hanging fruit’ made me smile.
We have discussed some of our options and downsizing does not necessarily mean a smaller home will be less expensive for us. So far, one of the negatives of a larger home is people/family/friends always think we have lots of room for their stuff and visitors staying with us – one of the only reasons I would consider getting a much smaller place at this time – obviously, a wrong reason to move, since we live in a nice area and a comfortable home. The stairs and puttering/maintenance around here possibly helps keep us young. As far as the stuff and visitors – more a lesson in boundaries. I have shared with you how we love having the option for grandchildren sleepovers – a highlight for all of us.
I will return to your post and read the additional downsizing blogs. Thank you for sharing another thought-provoking post, Suzanne. 😊 You help me align my thoughts and always gems I can incorporate into my lifestyle.💕 Erica
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Erica, you picked up on a good point that I was trying to make – downsizing may not be a less expensive option. Depending on the market you downsize to, it could actually end up costing more for a smaller place. Visitors, grands, stairs, it all has to be considered, but ultimately, the only thing that really matters is that our decision is good for us.
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I can relate to so much of this! We’re in the “where should we go?” or “should we just stay here?” phase. BUT, we have started purging while we continue to cogitate what to do with ourselves in retirement. and darling daughter just took some more of it out of our house today! woo hoo!! thank you so much for this post! I am going to bookmark it to refer to from time to time.
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Hi Toby, thanks for visiting. Having choices is scary and exciting and overwhelming at times, but keep sifting through your needs, desires, and goals and you will get there. Starting the big purge is a good step forward.
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Suzanne, Thank you for such a practical and thorough post. I really like your purging approach. I go through my inventory every year to purge the obvious. I also use the ‘one in one out’ approach when I think of buying something new and spend more on experiences like travel than material things.
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Hi Natalie, I love the one thing in one thing out rule. That should make your annual purge a breeze. It is a constant process and it definitely takes a disciplined mindset to stay on top of things. I’m not there yet, but I am trying.
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A great overview and “guide” to downsizing that (hopefully) will resonate with many. As you know. I live minimalistic while exploring the world. Yet, I still LOVE to purge and organize. It gives me satisfaction and a sense of achievement and liberation. It is surprising how little you actually need in life to travel and be happy. If I ever live in a (small) home, I will be upsizing instead of downsizing. Scary! 🙂
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Liesbet, I can imagine that you must have to be very organized to maintain a small space. The fact that you enjoy doing it is a bonus! Liberating is a good word when it comes to getting rid of excess. Keeping it that way is a real challenge. If and when you decide to upsize, make sure you have space for the housewarming gifts you will receive from your readers! 🙂
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Haha, Suzanne. Housewarming gifts! I love that idea, but I can’t see it happen. We never get gifts. Maybe that changes when people know we have space to keep and use them! 🙂
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Great tips. The last time we moved we did so from the home we’d been in for 18 years to this & while we purged (lots) in the 6 months leading up to the move we weren’t exactly downsizing. Interestingly we’ve begun the “what’s next” conversations so this is a timely post.
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Jo, our ‘what’s next’ conversation began after our daughter moved to college and continued until she got her first job, and continued a few more years after that. We came close a few times during those years, but couldn’t pull the trigger until Covid reset our thinking about what is truly important. You are still young and have time, but at least you are starting the conversation. Best wishes.
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I reckon ours started at about the same time – when Sarah left home… I reckon we’re a few years away from a decision yet…
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Suzanne, great post and yes, we also did it in steps. 4300 to 2500 to 1900 sq. ft. Actually 1900 is a bit tight as I’d love to have a separate craft space versus “sharing the guest- room space”. And of course, I live with a hoarder who like to have “options”. so we are packed to the gills with stuff. No minimalism in this house.
Another thing that helped us was defining what we wanted our “home” to be. I have a friend whose home is “family central”. She has more bedrooms now than before so her grandkids have places to stay… and they do stay overnight often! Another friend’s home is “base camp” – a condo with the minimum needed to rest (and do laundry) before the next trip. Me, I wanted to have space to cook (a larger kitchen area) and a great view (for relaxation). There’s a lot to consider with downsizing… or not. The family central home actually upsized space-wise.
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Hi Pat, since perfect is rarely achievable, I’d say you did a good job in downsizing to most of what you wanted. Malcolm likes to keep stuff too, but it is mostly kitchen gadgets and tools. I have learned to just accept that we will have a pasta maker, a torch, two dozen cake pans, and multiple wrenches and screwdrivers for eternity. I like your two opposite examples of ‘family central’ and base camp’. We are very likely somewhere in between.
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We downsized 20 years ago when making a cross country move. There were three moves after that, and I am happy to say we again purged each time. We’re in a good spot now, and I try to not keep things or buy stuff I don’t need. Every spring I go through the attic storage and purge a little more. I always think I’m doing my daughter a favor, and that’s a good thing.
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Judy, our goal is to be fairly lean by the time we make the final move. We still have a long way to go to eliminate the excess but we will get there. ‘Doing your daughter a favor’ is an admirable attitude. I wish my MIL thought the same way.
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All great points to ponder, and trust me we are pondering. At this point my goal is to get this house updated, unload unwanted items, then think about what comes next. Stay here or go elsewhere? I figure at that point I’ll be clear on our priorities.
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Ally, we replaced the roof, renovated the kitchen, painted the interior and exterior, replaced carpet with simulated wood flooring, replaced the air conditioners, the water heater and two of the five toilets prior to putting our home on the market. About the only thing we didn’t touch was the pool. When we were done, we actually considered staying and making the house work, but too big is still too big, even when it is updated. Best of luck with the updating and clearing. Sorting out your priorities is the hardest part.
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Nicely written Suzanne. Moving is never easy and no matter what you get rid of before hand, there never seems to be enough storage in our downsized new homes for all the treasures we collect over the years. Even when you find a spot for everything, we always find a new “must have” and then need to find a place for it. I could never find a place to showcase my antique pieces of blue and white china that I couldn’t bare to part with so it sits in a storage cabinet in our garage.
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Karen, I have a collection of Candlewick and way too many glasses in boxes at the storage unit. I can’t part with them yet, so I understand. Some things just have too many memories attached.
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