It’s My Birthday and I’ll Say What I Want To…

On By Suzanne@PictureRetirementIn retirement

Search ‘birthday gifts for older women’ on the internet, and you will be bombarded with suggestions that scream, ‘You are older than dirt.’ Memory books, word puzzles, soft throws, heating pads, foot massagers, coffee mugs with inspirational messages – granted, some of those sound appealing to me right now, but really people. Where are the suggestions for Pickle Ball lessons, a guitar, or a gourmet cooking class? How about a kyack, paddleboard or new bicycle? What happened to ‘age is just a number’, and ‘you are as old as you feel.’

I also found suggestions for some ‘cute’ gifts that poke fun at aging, but I would seriously consider the recipient’s sense of humor before gifting any of these.

The other day, a few of my 50/60-something friends and I were talking about birthdays and of course, I shared that I just turned 69. At least one lady in the group exclaimed, ‘No way!’ but another turned to me and said, ‘You love doing that don’t you?’ ‘What’, I said, posturing innocence. Truth be told, those words are music to my ears. I loved my sixties and can’t remember a decade that generated more personal growth, fulfillment, and freedom.

Getting past my child-rearing years, tolerating the indignities of menopause, and avoiding any serious illnesses up to this point have contributed greatly to my well-being. But, the biggest contributor to my current mindset is the ability to say, ‘WTF.’ There is a certain absurdity to life that smacks us down daily; it is called ‘impossible standards’. Maybe it takes five or six decades to fully realize (most of us are slow learners on this subject) that we are good enough, just as we are, or possibly, we just tire of trying to please and stop doing that. STOP DOING THAT!

While I don’t claim to have discovered any profound secrets to life, or the fountain of youth, I believe we can defy what society teaches us about older people and create a positive mindset about aging. My intent is to apply a few simple (and obvious) principles and live my best life well into my 80’s and 90’s.

Suzanne’s Book of Knowledge (aka life wisdom)

  • Let go of preconceived notions about aging (You are not too old to go bungy jumping)
  • Stop trying to prove whatever you think you need to prove (smart, worthy, kind)
  • You don’t need a soul mate or a BFF to be complete (just a few friends who make you laugh)
  • Make goals realistic and achievable – abide by the KISS rule
  • Move your body daily (most of us can at least walk to the mailbox)
  • Eat a healthy diet (remember the food pyramid)
  • Indulge yourself once in a while (take the trip, eat the chocolate cake)
  • Turn off the ‘Negative Nelly’ mindset (that inner voice that sounds like the Devil himself)
  • Interact with stimulating people (you never know who you might meet in the checkout lane)
  • Avoid toxic, joy-sucking situations (it can’t happen if you don’t participate)
  • Be agreeable/approachable (no one wants to be around a curmudgeon)
  • When the situation calls for it, just say WTF and leave it

Having just read ‘The Brilliant Life of Eudora Honeysett’, I am reminded that we can retreat from life, lament about our past, or embrace the future within our capabilities. I choose the latter. How about you? Are you doing all you can to enjoy life and age gracefully?

69 and counting…..it’s going to be a heck of a year!

55 thoughts on “It’s My Birthday and I’ll Say What I Want To…”

  1. Wow! I thought you were 59 – so you’re doing very well indeed and I’ll be taking all your Knowledge onboard as I continue on through my 60’s. I’m truly discovering that this second half of life has so many blessings – and we’re responsible for putting ourselves on the path that best suits us – and my post for tomorrow is about your “avoid toxic situations/people” point. I’ve finally figured out that I don’t have to deal with sour people on their terms – and it’s such a relief! Happy belated birthday Suzanne – keep spreading the joy xx

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    1. Leanne, I see what you did there! Thanks for the encouragement. I look forward to reading you toxic people post. Sometimes I think my positivity is a magnet for people who are out to ‘take me down a peg.’ Misery loves company I suppose. Have a good week.

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  2. Suzanne, I agree with all of this! I have already reached my 70’s and although I have slowed down some I still enjoy life and live each day with gratitude. Almost all of my friends are in their 70’s and even 80’s. Age is just a number. Every day is a gift.

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  4. Happy birthday and thank you for the inspirational tips. I’m just behind you (turning 69 in October) and I’m not always as positive as I’d like to be about aging, but I do try!

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  5. Happy birthday, Suzanne! May this year (and the decades to come!) bring all good things for you! I love your passion for life, and agree wholeheartedly with your words of wisdom. I turned 70 in December, so I’m right there with you. I also recently read The Brilliant Life of Eudora Honeysett and loved it. 🙂

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  8. Happy Birthday Suzanne, may you have many more healthy and happy ones. I think you have a wonderful attitude towards life. I’m ahead of you in years and work very hard to enjoy life to the fullest. I try to surround myself with fun and interesting people of all ages, many both younger and older. I feel I gain much from them all.

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  9. Happy Birthday! I really thought you were much younger, so you really must be benefiting from your wisdom. I’m enjoying my 60’s….so much easier than being in your 30’s. I spend more time at the gym with my peers to make sure we retain strength and general fitness. It’s a great way to bond with people after retirement. I spend LESS time worrying about applying and removing make-up. Life is too short for certain worries. Thank you for the inspiring post.

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    1. Tracey, my ‘tennis friends’ provide the same kind of motivation/stimulation as your gym friends. They are all mostly younger, so they challenge me to keep up. I also like hearing how they are navigating their 40’s and 50’s in a rapidly changing world. My mahjongg group gives me glimpses into the future as they are mostly 70’s and 80’s. It isn’t all roses ahead, but most have figured out how to thrive within their capabilities. They remind me to never take myself too seriously. Have a great week.

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  10. Never mind ageing and “getting old”, I don’t even feel as if I’m a grown up yet. (Michaela will absolutely vouch for that, I’m a daft kid who is 67). However, on the rare occasions we are at home in the UK and I find a TV programme I want to watch (a rarity in itself outside of sports channels) all of the commercials are about health issues or, worse still, how to save to pay for your bloody funeral. Well those that do the commercial v demographic algorithm can go f*ck themselves while I go on my next world trip and hoist myself into a zip line!

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  12. Love this post, Suzanne. Well said! And whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. I never would have guessed your age. I live in a 55+ community and see a spectrum of attitudes. I choose to surround myself with people who have a “can do” and upbeat mindset. Happy birthday and cheers to another twenty of fun and adventure filled years!🥂

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  14. Great things to remember!! I hit a low point during the last few years and all I could think about was my mortality. But I’ve risen beyond that and now I’m actually enjoying life more. I have a new sense of freedom and I love it. I definitely don’t do anything out of the ordinary but I do enjoy what I do. I just turned 68 myself and no one can believe it. That always makes me feel good. Keep up your wonderful attitude!!

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  15. Happy birthday, Suzanne! 69? I’m in the camp of really? And I won’t say you look great for your age, that’s just rude. You simply look great and you are keeping busy and active. Being in my mid-60s myself, I believe in the WTF rule and try to stop being hard on myself. Who cares if I need arch support insoles and shoes? Sadly I’ve gained 5 pounds each year since covid and I had to buy some new clothes. Whatever… or should I say WTF?

    It’s crazy to see ads for “old lady” stuff. If I know anything about the Boomer generation, we ain’t old, just wiser. I myself am getting excited about the benefits of turning 65, getting Medicare and taking advantage of a lot of free things that we get at this age. Enjoy 2024 and keep on truckin.’

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  17. Happy Birthday, and I say WTF every once in a while. 🙂 You have a great list of things to remember as we age. I’m a few years ahead of you, and can say that the first essential thing is your health and some of it just can’t be controlled with positive thinking although I wish it could. Positive thinking will help you survive various medical issues, and that’s certainly a critical element. Stay well, and have fun this year. Wishing you all the best.

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  21. Happy birthday! I agree with everything on your list and also dislike those “You are older than dirt” gifts. It’s important to be able to laugh at ourselves… and getting older gives us lots of funny material, but there are so many more things to rejoice about (including the fact that we are on top of the soil). Thanks for this uplifting post and the book recommendation – I will check it out!

    (Yes, I’m back home now… thanks for checking in 🙂 .)

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  22. Suzanne,

    I’m blessed in that whenever I tell someone my age (76), I find it hard to believe I’m talking about myself. So far, age is only a number. I’m also blessed to have a lively group of friends and folks in my exercise class who look forward to every day. I’m sharing your post with those friends. And, like you, I have a spouse who rises every morning grateful for our health and ready to plan another road trip or adventure well into the future–“WTF, let’s go for it!” BTW, I hope you broke the bank in Biloxi. Joe

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    1. Joe, enthusiasm for life and being grateful is what it’s all about. You guys especially know that, having dealt with a serious illness. Most of our RV loving friends hang it up around 70-75. Nice to see you are still going strong. Keep doing what you are doing. It looks great on you both.

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  23. Happy Birthday, Suzanne! You look amazing and you are always inspirational with your outlook on life and always staying active. I love your book of knowledge, yet I find every age is too old to go bungy jumping. My family has a few unique stories on this one. I have added the book you recommend here to my tbr list. I try to do all I can to enjoy life and the time I have with family and friends is more precious than ever. I sometimes feel we are on bonus time with the gift of health. Yes, I wholeheartedly agree…it’s going to be a heck of a year!💕 Erica

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  24. Erica, when you consider the life expectency of both men and women today, ‘living on bonus time’ is a good way to look at this stage of life. I feel like we’ve been blessed with good health and I don’t want to squander it by sitting still.

    The book is insightful, sad, possibly controversial to some, and inspiring. Let me know if you read it. Lots to ponder. Keep posting on Insta. It’s how I keep up with you and know all is well. xo

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  25. I love your book of knowledge. My biggest need to learn – the WTF & leave it response. Okay, and shutting up Negative Nelly! I love seeing “older women” who are totally rocking life… so inspiring! Happy Birthday!

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  26. Suzanne, Happy (belated) Birthday!! You don’t look 69, and sounds like you don’t feel it either.
    such a lovely post, made me laugh and nod at your “book of knowledge/wisdom…totally agree with all of it 😀

    keep having fun.

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  27. Christie Hawkes's avatar Christie Hawkes

    Happy birthday Suzanne! I love your Book of Knowledge and couldn’t agree more. Learning these same lessons has contributed to my loving this phase of my life.

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  28. theretiredalchemist's avatar theretiredalchemist

    Belated Happy Birthday! I love your “Book of Knowledge.” Wise words, particularly the last bullet point. 😊 I am also on a mission to help the younger generation know that aging is lovely. I feel like we just begin to come into ourselves in our 60’s. I hope your 70’s are equally wonderful.

    I just started reading “The Brilliant Life of Eudora…” and am really enjoying it.

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  29. Eudora was an interesting character – frustrating at times, (knoble and selfless to her own detriment) but true to herself all the way. I don’t think she would have embraced the last bullet point at any age. I hope we are setting an example for all who follow that ‘living’ before you die is important. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

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