The Year That Was – 2023

On By Suzanne@PictureRetirementIn Captured Moments, photography, retirement

Looking back at 2023 is bitter-sweet since this is the year our family experienced its greatest change since the birth of our daughter and the death of Malcolm’s dad. When the rapid cognitive decline of my MIL necessitated moving her into Memory Care this past September, we grieved. We grieved for the loss of the woman we knew, even though she is still with us. Bearing witness to the demise of a beautiful mind and a beautiful spirit is heartwrenching. Making decisions on her behalf feels unnatural. But, we do it, and we remind ourselves every day that our job is to let her know she is loved and to keep her safe.

We realized early on that putting our lives on hold was detrimental to our relationship and to our individual happiness. You may notice in the recap below that the duration of our travels is somewhat abbreviated after July. Abbreviated, but not eliminated.Life goes on. We go on.

In a nutshell, besides the countless hours we spent researching and visiting Assisted Living facilities, managing Dr. appointments, moving my MIL to AL and three days later to Memory Care, dealing with three hospital stays, and visiting and advocating for her care within the Memory Care unit, we managed to carve out time to recharge and regain perspective.

We cruised the Caribbean with friends, traveled to France with our kids, celebrated holidays and special occasions, established ‘staycation’ as a fundamental word in our vocabulary, relocated from an apartment to a larger townhouse, cooked a lot of healthy meals, maintained a physical fitness routine (sort of), and generally rolled with the tides of change.

Our Year In Pictures

We started the year as always, with a trip to the beach. We live within fifteen minutes of the Atlantic Ocean and visit often. I can’t think of a better way to welcome a new year than to witness the incredible symphony of a roaring ocean and crashing waves.

Later that month we took a drive to Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Worth (about an hour away) with our friends and enjoyed the day wandering and being spooked by Spook Hill. Belly-laughing with friends is always a good idea. Related Post

February

We made our annual trek to Jekyll Island for Treasure Hunting and came away with the usual treasures. Related Post

March

March was about cruising the Caribbean with friends on Regent, Seven Seas Navigator. Related Post

April

I participated in ‘Senior Games’ and came away with a treasure trove of medals. Go Me. We quietly celebrated Easter and a few nice spring days before the onset of summer. Related Post

May

May is my favorite month, with my birthday, Mother’s Day, and our Anniversary. There were multiple celebrations, including a short trip to South Carolina. Related Post

June

In late May and early June, we settled into our new rental townhouse. It was an easy move as we continued to contemplate what next? Related Post

July

We spent an incredible two weeks in France and a few days in London with our kids. It was fast-paced but enjoyable. Related Post Related Post

August

By late July and early August, we were paying close attention to what we had suspected for over a year. My MIL was suffering from significant cognitive decline and it was time for us to take a more active role in supporting her well-being. We had no idea how our lives were about to change. Related Post.

September

By September, we were at maximum stress level, necessitating a bit of self-care, i.e. a staycation in Miami for the weekend and a visit with our daughter and SIL. Related Post.

October

October was about accepting our new normal, settling into a new routine, and returning to the basic tenets of a happy life. Taking an ‘it is what it is’ approach and counting our blessings was just the attitude adjustment we needed. Related Post.

November

We struggled a bit in November, trying to keep up with the constant and worsening health challenges that my MIL is facing. Being responsive to her needs, navigating the healthcare system, and establishing our position with the care facility as her advocate was all-consuming. Related post.

Spending time with friends and celebrating Thanksgiving week in Quebec City with the kids were welcome diversions.

December

December was eventful and beautiful, but often sad as the realization set in that this would likely be our last Christmas with my MIL. Even so, the month was filled with simple pleasures and gifts beyond measure. You can read about our celebrations in the previous post.

WOTY – Word of the Year

I haven’t chosen a WOTY for the past couple of years and continue to rely on my commitment to balance and moderation for guidance. Focusing on the things that create balance in my life – love, security, relationships, fitness & health, gratitude, and positivity, enable me to assess deficits and make corrections before a major derailment happens. In essence, balance is about awareness and awareness requires self-knowledge and dedication to growth. Moderation reminds me to pace myself, and prepare for the distance rather than trying to live a lifetime in every moment. Understanding and accepting myself, including my flaws and shortcomings, being realistic about expectations, and accepting change will serve me well in this new year.

Words are just words, until you give them meaning. Only then do they have the power to inspire action.

When you take stock of the year that was, many words will float through your mind. Be still and listen. The universe may be sending a message that you need to hear. Wishing you the very best.

Terri at Second Wind Leisure is hosting an end-of-year wrap-up party. If you’d like to share your 2023 highlight reel please visit her website.

Sunday Stills – 2023 Wrap-up

41 thoughts on “The Year That Was – 2023”

  1. Hi Suzanne – a very full year for you all that covered the full spectrum. Your MIL is very fortunate to have you both in her corner and so ready to advocate for her during the final stage of her life. I’m so glad you’ve also made time for yourselves and to re-fill your tanks to keep that all important balance going. Happy New Year and see you on the other side x

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  2. Suzanne, you managed to balance helping your Mother in Law with doing the things you like to do. I think it’s important for all of us to take a break and recharge our batteries when we need to. Wishing you and Malcolm a Happy New Year!

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  3. Pingback: Sunday Stills: Looking Back at the Best of #2023 – Second Wind Leisure Perspectives

  5. Hi, Suzanne – This is such a moving and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing your year so candidly with us. I love your focus on balance, moderation, joys and living each moment as fully as possible despite life’s struggles. Wishing you, Malcolm and your mother-in-law a warm and peaceful new year.

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  6. Donna, thank you for your very kind comment. The past six months have been a challenge, but we are determined to continue ‘doing us’ to the extent possible. Wishing you and Richard the very best in the new year. I hope you have lots of wonderful adventures planned.

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  8. Your family has such a challenge trying to do the best you can with helping your MIL during this final and sad stage of her life. No one deserves to go what she is going through and if she only understood, I know she would be grateful. I’m wishing the best for all of you in the coming year.

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    1. Karen, I can’t decide if it’s a blessing or not that she doesn’t understand what is happening to her. Sometimes she tells us she loves us and she smiles when we walk into her room, so that’s gratitude enough for us. Wishing you all the best. Keep those yummy recipes coming my way! Happy New Year!

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  9. Suzanne,
    When the challenges surround us, the priorities have to focus on ourselves first, and it appears that you and Malcolm do a great job of setting aside some “me and we” time. It can be tough, but your commitment to balance will keep you on course. I loved your beach and waves pictures. We’re leaving for Florida in two weeks. Wish we could get further south than Jacksonville, but Florida is a tough ticket for RVers in winter. BTW, we prepared your Pork Tenderloin with Blackberry Glaze, and both of us raved about it. Can’t wait to try it on our friends. We wish the very best to you both for a fabulous start to the New Year. Joe

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    1. Joe, I’m glad you made the pork tenderloin. It is an easy to prepare company dish that everyone loves. South Florida in the winter is a beast. Hotel rooms, RV parks, every inch of real estate doubles in price and unless you book way ahead it won’t happen. You have probably visited Cumberland Island, Sappalo, Amelia, Anastasia, Jekyl, etc. – all the barrier islands along the east coast between Georgia and Florida, but they are all worth exploring. Darien GA has a couple of great places for fried shrimp if you head that way.

      Huguenot Memorial Park (near Jax) is a beautiful little park with a great drive-on beach that you will love. Easy place to sit and enjoy life. Also, Safe Harbor seafood market for fresh fish and shrimp if you guys like to prepare your own or you can walk across the street and eat in their restaurant. Anyway, one of these days we will all meet-up in the same place and have a drink and some good conversation. Until then, enjoy life and make the most of every minute. Malcolm and I are headed out to the beach for a picnic and 5:30 sunset. That’s as exciting as it gets for us. Happy New Year!

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  12. Suzanne, other than our current living locations, it seems we’ve had a similar year with family issues, wins, and losses. It is so hard to watch our parents decline and be forced to make life-altering decisions. We can only do our best and as your meme suggests, let us talk about the joys rather than the problems. Your images are lovely and I am impressed with your medal haul from the senior games! High five, my friend!! Wishing you and Malcolm good things and more in 2024 and by now you are celebrating NYE festivities!

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    1. Hi Terri, our paths have been similar this past year. Lots of ups and downs, but mostly highlights. Consider the competition before you pat me on the back for the medals. It wasn’t called Wisdom Warriors because we are athletes. 🙂

      As far as NYE goes, Malcolm and I took a picnic basket to the beach and watched the sunset over the river. Home by 6:30 where we cooked a huge pot of muscles – Yum, in bed by 10:00. Our kind of day. I hope your celebration was exactly what you wanted. Happy New Year

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  13. Hi Suzanne – Thank you for sharing your year and gorgeous photos with us. It seems we both focus on balance, joys and living each moment as fully as possible while navigating life’s challenges. Best wishes to you and Malcolm. Happy New Year!

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  14. Suzanne, this is a beautiful and honest post. You and Malcolm are doing a wonderful job of navigating the challenges of caring for an aging parent. You are providing love and support and managing her care, while also doing your best to continue living your lives to the fullest. During the years of helping my parents, I reminded myself many times that my folks had long, interesting, happy lives…and I knew they wanted the same for me. I wish ease for all of you in this tender time. And may this New Year bring you many more rich adventures.

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    1. Laurel, we constantly remind ourselves that she is 94 and has lived a very good life. She would hate how the end is playing out, and in her lucid moments, she always tells us to ‘go and enjoy your lives.’ “Ease” is a good word for describing our needs right now.

      Thanks for your words of wisdom and best wishes for the new year.

      I still want to see pics of the new dwelling and hear about your life – hint, hint!! I checked your blog yesterday to see if I had missed anything. Take care.

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  15. Suzanne, Reading your words about awareness of the cognitive decline of your MIL brought back my own memories of this month in 2023. I wish you strength this year for this continued challenge. I’m still thinking on a WOTY, which I have not picked for a few years now. It feels like 2024 is calling for one again.

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    1. Pat, I remember when you were going through a similar situation and the angst that came through your posts. It certainly isn’t an easy time, but life goes on. I look forward to hearing about the WOTY you choose for 2024. I’m sticking with ‘balance’ for now. Maybe later if something speaks to me….. Happy New Year!

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  16. theretiredalchemist

    It is so difficult to walk with a family member who is declining before your very eyes, but I think that cognitive issues are the hardest. Glad you recognized that you need to care for yourselves in the process. Wishing you the best in the new year.

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  17. Nancy Dobbins

    Hi Suzanne,
    I so enjoyed this post, as difficult as it was in parts to read it was positive and affirming as well.. Dementia is a heart wrenching process; I have a friend who is watching her husband’s decline, I think everyone is touched by it in someway. For what it is worth I believe your and Malcolm’s attitude and approach will see you through. Life does go on, even as we grieve.

    We are back in our little Florida home. Being in the center of the state insulates us some from the madding crowds, prices, and traffic. Ever busy, I have started a handcrafted wreath and faux floral business, online and locally at craft shows and giving lessons. A creative outlet since I’ve let my blog go. And some extra pocket money is an added benefit. 😀

    All the best to you and Malcolm in 2024…
    Nancy

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    1. Nancy, I am glad to hear that you are channeling your creative energy into a business opportunity. Drop a link to your online shop when you have time and I will check it out. Years ago, in another life, I hosted a wreath-making party for some friends. Everyone came with a wreath form and a few odds and ends to contribute to the community stash. It was hilarious. Wine helped make them all look beautiful.

      I hear you about taking care of ourselves through this new journey. We have met so many people in the same situation and have learned a lot. As soon as the topic comes up the floodgates open and everyone has a story to share.

      I’m glad you are quietly tucked away from the hoards of tourists and enjoying life. If you are anywhere near Blue Springs (near DeLand), go see the manatees that are hibernating there for the winter. The springs are crystal clear and the manatees are fun to watch. Take a picnic and enjoy the day. All the best to you. Happy New Year!

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  18. You’ve had an eventful year, Suzanne. I feel that every new year is more eventful and busier than the last one, with more challenges to boot…

    I recognize a lot of the involvement with aging parents/family members, from knowing I had lost my oma (grandmother) during a phone call from far away (realizing her dementia had set in) even though she was still alive, to spending six months during Covid and multiple months other summers taking care of my parents-in-law, who heavily relied on us when we lived in their house. It felt like we had no moment to ourselves.

    I hope 2024 will be a better year for you and Malcolm, a year in which everything falls into place.

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    1. Liesbet, I think a lot of the challenges we face come with being of a certain age. It isn’t a new thing, just new to us, but we are learning as we go. I too hope that 2024 will bring peace and a return to the lifestyle we enjoy. Until then, we will continue on. Wishing you guys the very best for this new year. I will jump over and catch up with what’s new in your life soon. xoxo

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  20. Hi Suzanne, I am late reading your post. A house full of company the past while and expecting more soon. Thank you for sharing how you and Malcolm have a philosophy for caring for your MIL and your loved ones in general. “…let her know she is loved and to keep her safe” A challenging time…You remind me how the many cliches are there for a reason…one day at a time…not putting your lives entirely on hold…As Janis says, “so many joys too.”

    Awesome about the Senior Games! Gorgeous photos! I always love seeing the ‘before pictures.’ Beautiful then and now! I love how you arranged this post, taking stock of the year. Wishing you and Malcolm a happy and healthy 2024. Hugs. 💕 Erica

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  21. Ha, ha, I just figured out what happened. You left your original comment here and pasted the new comment on the next blog post with a similar title. No worries. I got to hear from you twice this month! I thought your response was inclusive of both posts, so didn’t think anything of it.

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